The Backup Plan

I know in the past I have had my posts about my fucked up relationships [womp!] and then for some reason,, Im happy again with a new dude and then all of a sudden Im off niggas yada yadda yaddda!! Yea I know Im a lost cause,, but unfortunately my heart is always in a tug-of-war because I can never make up my damn mind!! Its time I be real with you and also myself in realizing that I am `The Backup Plan Girl`,,

[Backup Plan Girl = a woman who always has a guy, who is a plan B for that guy in case this nigga fucks up or vice versa. She is never 100% single even when she is single and cries about how alone she is. Her eyes and options are always open,, thus always having a `Backup Plan` for a relationship she is in]

And in realizing this,, I am setting myself up for failure.I have always been this type of girl and at first,, [and for the fact I date in Los Angeles] seems like a great idea because the young men here are very mickey and are totally clueless of what they want,, why should I wait for them? =^/ This form of thinking has resulted in me being just as trifling as them at times because I have cheated,, rather emotionally or physically,, i have not always been a good girl because I always had that one guy waiting in the wings. Surprisingly enough this has sparked guys to hunt after me harder looking at me as a challenge,, saying that they can take me away from so-and-so. At the same time it has harmed me,, men have told me they can't get serious with me because I'm a heart breaker [go fucking figure]. 

I always thought that if I put my all into every relationship I had the fact I had a backup guy,, wouldn't be neccessary because this guy would do right by me. HA!! I realized this wasn't working because these guys would have a backup plan for my ass because either they were just that dog ass nigga or because they felt the same way I did,,she gona hurt me anyway. The reason I have always been this way is because in the past I have never had the guy I should have had,, the guy to treat me right,, so I looked at the guy on the side as a crutch or a bandaide for when this other guy broke my heart. It's been a losing process because I then have to get a backup for my backup because he later breaks my heart.

Moral of the story is if you have a backup 9 times out of 10 your going to have to use it and your just defeating yourself. Instead of finding that whole person you look for halves,, resulting in trying to making a whole person by putting two different [or in other cases more] people in your life to make the ultimate person you want. If you're a `Backup Guy or Girl` its time to take a break instead of having meaningless relationships start trying to make whole ones with one person instead of searching for a replacement. Think about it,, jobs search for a replacement after they fire you,, if they had a backup plan for every employee they might as well hire yall both! 

[Follow me on Twitter= @KrazyLikeWow]