Happy [New Age] Day!

Happy Birthday to my big sister Khadija!!
She is an old lady now, about 82 years old!! Looks good for her age right? lolz... We used to have our differences growin up; I hated this beezy & she was so mean to me!But, I never stopped lovin her! She is smart & successful & great mom! Im extremely proud of her! Love you sissy & I really wish I was there wit you to celebrate!

[Oh yea, & Happy Saint Patties Day! Go get ur JagerBombs!!]

I Hate This...

Damn feeling

"I watchin my phone waiting for it to ring...
Sittin on the couch wit the TV off...
all night all alone...
every night same ol' thing..."

"give me some excuse like you always do.."

I know that couple post ago I was talkin so great bout my Hunnie Bunnie but somethin happened && I saw sumthin I wish I didn't see! && now Im havin an Epiphany && Im upset && disappointed cuz my heart is sayin [effin] "I told you so" Ugh I hope Im over exagerattin & everything will come to pass cuz I want him in my life. I thought he was the answer to my prayers && that he was my break from heart ache now Im just super unsure! It wud be awesome if he cud atleast call my ass back so we can talk bout it. I mean voice convo && not wit thumbs! He usually blows my phone up with beautiful things & we talk early morning && before I go 2 sleep now4 the past two days he has been acting wierd mostly yesturday & 2day. He feels I dont trust him, i do but wat I saw makes me question things && I hate feelin like I have been played. This is fuckin wit me alot && I cant function right now! I don't even wana talk my friends cuz I don't want them 2 judge me && I dont feel like being chastized like a lil kid. [yea they think they are my parents] I jus need support. See, feelings like this is wat ive been talkin bout of why I [effin] cheat!! But he was the one I wanted to end that for! [Maybe it aint over... ima see] But the count down starts 2day, cuz im no longer gona take any of another mans shinanegans!

[b.t.w do u see my future hubby in the vid,I cudn't imagin ever leavin his ass, Chrissy you need to get on that boo! lolz]