So I said maybe about a million post ago that I would keep yall updated on my graduation journey and what Im gonna do when I graduate. Well....not much progress has been made since that post. Ill give me some credit I have talked to a few people here and there but my lazy ass has not been on it. IDK where my drive has gone, in high school I was on the effin ball people. I made sure my ass got in college and everything on time. I had super passion for wat I wanted to do, but because of the many challenges I have faced these past 4 years my dreams are starting to look cloudy. Im more scared than anything. For one reason is because everything I strived for and tried to get and make happen while I was in college failed, so I had to make a plan B and utilize it for everything. Im starting to feel the dreams I want are not wat God wants for me, either that or he is really making me work super hard to get there. Im like come on Jesus, Hook a sista up & give me a break!! I know the best of things are worth fighting for, but when I see other peoples lives jus fallin into place so easy [well maybe not easy cuz IDK wat they did to get to that point], but it just seems as though their dreams and journeys are matching their plans. I wish my life plans [wat God wants] matches wat I want and my biggest fear is that they wont.. Ima admit Im discouraged as fuck, shit it happens, everyone gets a lil flustered at times. I still have the drive enought to not give up, because I haven't even though Ive thought about it many of times. But I stopped and thought, "Kam, wat the hell are you gona do if u quit, be "normal" like the rest of the people you know?" and I would reply to myself sayin "Hells to the naw!" Wat keeps me goin is wat Ive been through, I look back and see all my struggles, all the bullshit, all the doors closed in my face, and think of all the times I opened another one. Im such a plan B type chick. If it don't work out this way I always immediately think of another way b4 I even do plan A, cuz 8 times outta 10 plan A don't ever work.[Maybe I should start makin plan B be plan A lolz]. But, it just hurts knowing that my life has been full of disappointments. but I guess that is just life. I hate going through shit. Ima stubborn person and yes I love the easy way out dammit cuz its easy, who wouldnt. Im not tryin to get the ticket to no where cuz everyone goes there. I wana go somewhere, somewhere where nobody goes, but where everyone would dream to be. And Im trying to get there on the hook up lolz.I have senioritis right now. Actually Ive had it since I was a senior in high school and was never properly cured. Im just ready to be done with school for the fact Ive been doing this shit since I was 3 and dammit Im over this relationship! But, its all I know! All I know is school and if I had any type of money, I would stay in that shit [but, I gets no more Cal Grant or Scholarchips after 4years..womp!!]. But, I can say I have been blessed to have gone through this with out any loans. [My parents not bein there payed off in the end lolz]. But most importantly [somethin I fail to relize] is that I FUCKIN DID THE DAMN THANG!! I am a college graduate and did that shit right after high school in 4 years and alot of muthafuckas wont/cant say that shit but wud love to. I made it out with no babies or drug habits or super crazy in love relationships or any other major distraction that are thrown your way normally in a young womans life around this time try and stop her from finishing school. Even so, I have been through some challenges by fuckin far, but nothin too much that God didn't feel I couldn't handle and nothin too much to where he felt I needed. I graduate May 24th at 8am from San Diego State University with a Bachelours of Arts in Interdiciplinary Studies specializing in Communication, Journalism & Media Studies, & Sociology and I know for a fact it will not be in vain.
[Peep The Grad Photo...hot huh? I did my hair and make up myself cuz Im livin on a budget lolz]
