Ive been a Horrible Blogger!!

What the hell is wrong with me!?? Ive just neglected this blog like Ciara neglected her career...but I miss it I really do and Im going to try and come back doing what I love. Life has gotten in the way of my writing and ironically it should have been what helps me write,, considereing I blog about my life. I'll be really surprised if anyone even reads my blog any more lol...well I hope so and for that lonely soul out there Ima give you some more treacherous delivery that Ive made known on here. See you all soon :)

Im In That Thang!!

Who is going to Watch The Throne???

I AM BITCHES!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! I'm so excited I'm already plotting my outfit and deciding if im going to come into work that day! I almost wasn't going to go the tickets were ridiculously priced and  before I got to really even look for the tickets they were sold out. But, Jay an Ye must have felt like "aint no party if Kam isn't there" lol and added a last minute extra show to Los Angeles visit. I was late on that as well when a friend told me about it while we were in the club. So Im sitting in the club credit card ready on my cell phone trying to buy tickets and to my luck they shut the buying process down. Why when i got home at 3am I stalked them tickets till a good 6am till they opened it back up and got my hands on the ticket which was almost sold out any way. God was gracious.

My friend was gona go with me until she told me she couldn't afford them, so unfortunately Ill be going solo dolo :( ; but Im sorry this is an opprotunity I can't pass up Im a HUGE Jay-Z fan and I never been to a Kanye concert. Ive been to my first Drake concert alone and it worked to my advantage so maybe this will be a good thing. I have fun wherever I go so Ima have a Ball. So on Tuesday, December 13, 2011, Im gona watch and hear to the throne and Im so excited YAAYYYY. Last year me and my best friend went to see the Blueprint 3 Tour and we had so much fun with these guys that sat next to us they were dancing with me and everything. i hope I sit next to cool people. If you are going as well and you see me say hello so we can party together :).

Pay that Nigga alimony so you know its real!!

Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries-Kardashian is getting a divorce and you know what.... the world turns as well. This hoe here and you know what I don't like calling Kim a hoe but the proof is in the jello pudding pops!! Im so over this girl and her groupie ass. I wanted to say that this girl was living,, breathing normal woman thats a  sucker for love but now Im just like she is a the best opportunist I have ever seen in my life and she does the shit so fucking well you almost can't be mad at her. Im starting to think she put out her own damn  sex tape to catapult her own ass into stardom because it was executed so well. See this is why she gets this up and coming you dont really know him black men on her team...so she can drop them respectively with a profit. She couldnt pull this shit with no P. Diddy trust and believe. See all that bitch thought of was dolla signs and the dream of having a fairytale wedding and some damn scenes for her scripted show she was running out of ideas I'm sure.

Now let me play devils advocste and really disect the heartbreak. Bitches like Kim get on my nerves and im gonna explain what I mean by bitches like her. Im talking about the women that are forever in relationships,, serial monogamist who think they shittin on the next  bitch because they are never single. However,, your vagina is still occupied by numerous dick throughout the year because you cant keep one. She may be have profited off this wedding/5 min marriage but what does that say about your character and your dry ass vagina and personality??

Kim needs to get it together because she needs to figure why she old as she is,, as beautiful as she is *with makeup on*,, she cant make an honorable image out of herself and be able to keep a man. Cuz I feel she is as shallow as a bird bath and as dry as Khia's dreads.

Halloween 2011

This was me on Halloween,, crazy enough I was the same thing I was last year but last year I didn't really do much so I re-birthed the costume...Hey I gets my money's worth!! I was a sailor but my kids at work thought I was a pirate so hey...I went to the annual West Hollywood Halloween Parade for the first time and boy did I have fun. It was definitely a night to remember,, thats all I'm gona say for now lol...(.more photos to come)

                                  (full body of the costume take last year but I loveeee this pik!!)

Everyday Im Tumblrin!!

Hey you guys Ive been kinda absent lol,, yes I know but Im trying ton get back in the hang of blogging. I however, have been on Tumblr heavy,, I love my tumblr because I can express myself visually and Im such a visual person so I love it. Check out my Tumblr if you like....

organicpoison.tumblr.com 

Run The World

I saw this and was like damn the dancing in this is better than Bey's and I stan for the Queen. I loved it,, and crazy enough this video was posted before the original on BeyonceVevo on Youtube.I wish I could dance like this I would be all money in lol.

No County for Broken Hearts

So its been a minute since I posted and I thought I would like to share a little of whats been going on with me. So much has happened its not even funny in all aspects from relationships, money, and just basic life. It scares me almost on how problematic and hopeless my love life is that I almost assume it wont get better. Im so over it at this point it overwhelms me,, if that even makes sense. A couple months ago I was played like Ive never been played in my life,, i still have nightmares about it. Im slowly recovering,, but Im sorry to admit that it has pushed me away from the feeling I will ever be in love with anyone. Its like my heart was made to be broken. Im finding myself gettin used to the pain to where when things go wrong I dont even cry because it bound to happen.

I cant hardly think straight when it comes to how I feel about giving my heart to a man. i would love to but it feels its not worth it in all for him to just break it. men dont give a damn about feelings and Ive come to believe they are all the same. Yes I said it all men are the same,, they are all filled with bullshit and some just grow out of it faster than others. Im giving up Im throwing in the towel and i really dont care anymore what anyone has to say. yes Im bitter, mostly Im hurt and I dont even want to deal with it,, Im not strong enough at this point to care about love anymore.People associate being in Love as weak,, however,, Love is the strongest emotion to exude because it takes the most out of you. People are lazy so they dont want to put in the effort to love another,, they are only capable of thinking of self.

Two of the most realest songs out right now is Jhene' Aiko's "Stranger" and Beyonce's "Best Thing I Never Had." If you haven't heard them please do, they speak volumes to me right now in the worst way. Because Im such a nice,, loving person,, it makes it hard for me to not put effort into a man I'm feeling I'm not one for games but I guess in the dating world they have to be played so I follow suit but I just want thing to be organic. i want to meet someone who isn't planing to do me in. Someone to actually care about me and my feelings,, but I'm slowly starting to believe I can run for President and win before I could find love and that makes me sad.Ive been trying to dissect myself and wonder why I'm never the one to win in Love and War and I haven't figured it out yet,, I question who I am because I have failed so much  I don't know what to do anymore,, I'm tired of waiting I'm tired of being patient I don't even want to look anymore or even be sought after I'm over it...bye bye to the thought of Love for now.

__ill be back soon,, i promise :)

When I Need A Laugh...

I watch these... Everytime!! Shit never gets old lmao

Arivaaadoche Biiiiittttccchhh!!

Run-Tell-Dat!

In my life I have been through some crazy shit,, a lot of which I'm not proud of. However, the one thing I have always maintained was a good heart and good loyal standing to people I care about and I have come to realize that people don't have the same emphasis for the concept to me as I do. I'm a GREAT FRIEND!! I stand true to it. If I ride for you then consider that a blessing. But what I hate about my loyalty and heart has let people to still over look it and want to hurt me by taking my kindness for a sign to take advantage of me.

If you know me you know I'm a sweetheart and I'm so nice and welcoming to everyone I meet. its just who I am,, and some people don't appreciate that about me and it hurts me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm just too caring. i care a lot of my image taking that there are people in my life that can ruin it if they choose too. I have had people who I trusted talk shit about me and say really mean things behind my back about me but never to my face. I feel that a lot of people in my life have only been around to use me. Ive been played by boys and girls and secretly it has eaten away at my confidence. For the first time in my life I'm learning to not give a fuck what people say and just live my life the way I choose to. I'm learning that people are gonna have an opinion of who I am no matter if I have done all the bad things in my life or not. I'm growing and they are growing so their opinion holds no wait because nobody is perfect.

A recent conversation about me by two people I care about was brought back to me and a lot of hurtful things were said and at this point I'm no longer mad at the words that were said I'm  mad at the fact I cared so much about what was said to the point it made me question who I was. People talk shit,, that's something I can't change but what I can change is how I feel about it and how I address my actions. I stand by my faults and my accomplishments,, they teach me a lot about myself and life. It saddens me sometimes that I have to learn from some of my mistakes int he way I do but I'm just learning to accept the the things I have done  as a story to tell and a lesson to learn. I used to be so wrapped up in others peoples thoughts and that's not the way to live.