And So It Came To Pass......

&& Im sad & mad...

why?

Cuz Im single...

Unfortunately my Hunnie Bunnie && I are no more but Im so not excited or happy or wanting this situation. It feels hella premature of a break up && it was sooo not my choice. I wanted to work things out && start a new but he I guess was so not feeling my emotional smoothies I was force feedin him all the time. Its so much details goin on in this situation that I don't even know if I should type it. Well he wants me to, in his words "Get at me when u work shit out wit urself && u are over ur issues && stop jumping to conclusions ive been nothin but real && 100 wit u." And in all this maybe true, I can say that I have trust issues but they stem from devastating past relationships && situations && I thought I was over certain things but they make it hard for me when I find myself in the same situations, its like you heard that line before or he is doing shit someone else has done or baby please promise me you wont go about things this way. I can see why he is upset && why he is like we don't need to be together. But, I wanted him to help me get through this to make our situation strong by knowing you will be there for me when I get emotional or at least talk shit out wit me. Like relationships are hard work and there will be things about the person that thye are goin to bring into the relationship that is gona be hard to deal with. I dealt with things from his end why can't he do the same for me. I have to admit I do feel he is cheating on me now that I saw his phone records & his myfaves are all girls including myself plus 2 of those numbers are his ex-girlfriend who he claims only calls him && who he hates to even hear her name! [ugh...why is she gettin free anytime minutes??] plus he added a new girl in his faves recently&& this is the topper this mystery girl named "Ashlee" has over 1765 minutes of talk time for just last month. [I only have 1500 minutes on my plan] WAT THE EFF! Plus the main thing Im pissed off with is he has been ignoring me for the past 3 days becuz if I say normal shit to him no reply but if I go off && say sum insecure shit, he is quick wit a rebuttle. Wats up wit that?? && wat really flew me for the loop is his screen name on GoogleTalk so happened to disappear!! After all we are going through right now that is not a smart move, I almost lost him 2 days ago like he was over me said he would give me another chance but was not up on talkin to me && for it to look like he deleted me made me hott && sad all at once. I confronted him about it && he made up some excuse saying he wasn't done but sending him the text I did made him wana quit our relationship. Im not for pushing him away but all his actions have been a lil suspect lately && idk why! I don't like how he ended us with out really giving it a try or discussing our issues. Im hella pissed off && I do want him back, well at least I feel I need some explanations.Im not comfortable giving him up to "Ashlee" I want my man back! I know some of you are saying you have all the proof that he is cheating and some of you are saying well you are not 100% sure either, && im not. But IDK wat more I can do or wat more I can say than wat I already have said. I need all the advice I can get cuz I do love him && care bout him. I want him back but I dont wana be making mistakes with my heart either! As for now Ima leave him alone but getting him out my mind has been the hardest thing I have to do at the moment && knowing that Im the reason he pulled away hurts even more!! This is killing me inside && all I wana do is cry my eyeballs out! Thinkin about how fairytale we were 3days ago makes me cringe knowing that it took a phone bill turn our relationship sour! In this case it shows me our foundation must haven't been that damn strong. But I wana put it back together again I just dont know how & don't know when........

I dont feel sweet wit out my Hunnie!!!