Another Again!

``The game got these old hand prints on it /
But I'ma be the one that pour cement on it /
Uh, and start over``

I really wish life had one of these things cuz Lord knows I would have used it a long ass time ago!
My life, like many,has been a whirl win of drama that I wish I could just erase. My past is so complex it haunts me everyday and it hurts! My past wont leave me alone and Im tired of being reminded of the ppl I used to kno or the things that I used to do like Damn! Can a bitch get a break! A close friend of mine sent me a text that didn't sit too well with me My actions from the past are catching up with me and its like damn one lil thing can ruin your life! I feel betrayed because its like the one person I wish would be there and not hurt me has! IDK why I crave this person's approval so much its ridiculous when the only approval I need is Gods. I can admit I put ppl I care and love on a pedestal && disappointing them hurts me more than them. I guess they are high in my life because they have the power to destroy it && it scares the shit outta me that my reputation with them is being tarnished. But, its crazy because in all reality I know who I am && I know what Im worth && even if you think you know me you really don't. No one knows me like I know me && that is the truth. I made mistakes in the past I wish I could re-do so bad, just because I hate the feelin of being stupid && making stupid decisions. However, would I be a happier person if I did that? Would my life be any better if I had a reset button and started over like things never happened. I feel I am a great person && my past has shaped me to be the person I am. Im more smarter and know alot more about life, but the devastating fingerprints it leaves behind it wat I don't like. I guess ppl are forever going to have a picture in their mind of who they think you are regardless of how cookie cutter you want or try to be. Its crazy becuz my life has had its low lows, but my situations have never been as bad as they could have been, because even when you think your at your lowest point know that it can be even lower than wat it is. Like I say, God has always protected me even when I felt I was all alone, in ways that I do now. Knowin wat I know now about certain things I wish I coulda redone half my life and make it a new. But, I guess the only way to really make your life a new is just start over and erase the past! Its said && done && I guess there is really nothing I can do but make a new && better history for myself. Its time I restore the definition of who I know Kam to be && wat you thought really has no effect! I am who I say I am!