Hello all!! Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I would to so much has been going on in my life. I feel so overwhelmed and somewhat defeated. Have you ever had some many changes in your life that you just couldn't keep up with it?? Or life seems to be going fine until a travesty of an event happens. Every year I have a super life changing event happen to me and I'm getting real tired of this. Some years I have two or even three,, but majority of the time I experience at least one. I just want to live and be happy,, I'm getting real tired of learning life lessons the hard way even when I'm not trying to.
I desperately need a break a vacation of sorts. I want to get away from all of my past and my current situation. I understand life is full of tests and trials but what scares me is already knowing all that i been through and realizing that at 22,, this is only the beginning. I have so much more lessons to learn and harsh experiences to go through I don't know how long I'm going to last mentally before breaking down.
What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger,, this is true and I know that through all of my crazy experiences I have learned from them and they made me a stronger,, wiser person but they also have left impressionable scars on my soul. I get constant flashbacks of these experiences and even though I have to move on from them,, they still make me feel horrible I had to go through that just to learn from it. I'm definitely the person that you say don't touch that its hot and eventually I touch it anyway just to see or sometimes I'm the person who knows its hot and stay away from it for majority of the time,, but while I'm trying to avoid it so diligently,, I manage to trip and fall or someone pushes me on it and get burned anyway. My life in my eyes can be a constant train wreck its never smooth sailing and I'm struggling so hard to not slip into depression.
My biggest struggle right now is getting over the experiences and moving on. i have been feeling really down on myself lately saying all the shoulda, coulda,woulda's, that I'm losing my mind. Can some of you tell me how do you guys get over things that have happened to you in your life that pushed you to the limit? How do you all just say "Fuck it" to things that make life unbearable at times? I need your advice and prayers,, because like many,, I'm going through it and I'm feeling miserable. Share some of your pick me ups that help you get over and get by.
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