Feel Like Kickin Myself In The Vag!!

Oh Em Gee!! Procrastination is gona kill me. Its a disorder I am suffering from and I really need to be check out. Like serious, is there a such thing as Chronic Procrastination Syndrome?? Ima have to Google that. But im so pissed off at myself that I felt the need to write about it. Almost like screamin. This is a straight vent session so bear with me.

First) I am beyond due with finding a damn job. I have offers for internships, but Im jus chillin likethey are gona walk on my door step and carry me to the office. Im so used to always getting the jobs I apply for, so I guess in my mind Im like "Your gonna get it girl, don't trip!" Uhhra no boo boo, get it 2 gether hunnie u may not get it then ur gona be lookin hella stupid when u are stuck in the house all summer with nothing to damn do. I really want a PAID internship cuz Im try to stack cheese so I can move out my Grandmother's house if my Father is living there, I gotta go. Me & him don't see Eye to Eye on about anything & he has really some nerve in his pocket to ever step to me and try to tell me what to do. Like Nigga, Im doing way better now in my 21 years of living then your whole life and dreams combined. But he is a totally a different lost cause that I don't feel like getting into.

Second) The reason I have been soo lazy to find a job is cause of my unpolished ass resume. Its cool for what it is I need to do some editing, But im waaaaaayy past due to going to Career Services to let them look at it. Plus this is my last week of school & everyone I wana see is bout to go on vacation for the summer and are booked up with appointments and such.

Third) Letters of recommendation need to be typed and I have contacted some teachers and staff who said they will write one for me but they also said, "Hey,, just shoot me an email to remind me and Ill write them for you." Uggh there is no draft in my compose box being written for any of them. Plus I have to track down a couple of my teachers from the past who said they would years ago, to see if they still even rememeber who the fuck I am.

Fourth) I have finals this week, I have already take two, felt like i did good. But, that was last week. I had all weekend and yesterday to study for my last test which will be 2maro at 1pm, when really I should be taking it Thursday at 10:30 am, but because I have to go to gradution rehearsal, I have to take it early. WHOMP! But i guees my mind is stuck think I have to take it on Thursday, mind you this may be the hardest test I take of my carreer in school and may as well dictate if i get my Diploma or not. WTF! Am I doing so I just have today and till 1pm tomorrow to study for this damn test. Oh let me also explain, Im the QUEEN of craming Ive done it all my life and it has gotten me this far I guess. Since 6th grade I have done my homework at school the day it was due and never at home where it needs to be. I have waited to write every paper of my life the night before and studied for every test the night before. So I guess I get overwhelmed when I get alot of time on my hands. And I guess I work better under pressure but I hate having to. The one thing I hate most is when I really get it crckin in my work, and feel stupid when I say " Damn, look how much/ far I would have been if I started doin this shit days before!!"

Fifth) Im forgetting Im no longer going to be a student and all the Free.99 shit I got while I was a Student at San Diego State will no longer be available to me. Its included in our fees to go to Student Health Services any time we like for any damn thing. And it is the nices facility I have ever been in in my life. I have to have my annual check up and my ass missed my first appointment because I forgot to go and they were calling me back a grip of times to reschedule and I never called back, Till this morning to have them tell me "Sorry we are booked up till May 29th and your doctor leaves in June, oh and once May 27th hits it will be Summer Session and if you are not enrolled in summer courses you have to pay $15 a visit." WTF, I just had to wait forever to do shit didn't I.

Sixth) I have been screaming about getting my tickets to go see Drake on Friday and that almost slipped out my hands because I took for ever to give my homeboy the money. Hopefully, he can still get my tickets. If not ima shoot someone.

Seventh) I overdrafted my account from paying my rent with no money in the bank [Such a smarty pants Kam!!] My landlord takes forever to cash checks so Im like Im cool cuz last month he didn't cash the checks till like this month and shit. So im like Ima just write the check and when I get the money from my other account just tranfer payments. Mind you I got the money almost immediately as I submitted the check maybe a couple days after that my landlord wants to cash the check. Like now when I have no money you wana do shit on time and right after takin forever all year. So because I didn't transfer the money into the "rent" account from my "work" account [mind you they are with 2 different banks and that is why I waited, being to lazy to go to each bank] I now have to pay the bank back in fees, for 1) overdrafting 2) them payin for the rest of the money that I missed 3) For not paying them back within a certain amount of time so they add on $8 a day after for however long it takes you to pay them back. [FUCK YOU US BANK]

Eigth) Im graduating Sunday and it Tuesday and I still havent sent out one announcement to let people know "Hey Im graduating send me money!"

Ninth) I never did post about me going to see the Lil Wayne Concert and how I almost died when Drizzy came on stage & screamed out the eardrums of the 2 lil kids sitting in front of us and how I ran all the way down to the bottom to get a better look as if he was gona stage dive into the crowd. & how Electrik Red Was fucking up & everyone was like "Who the fuck are they". How I got tipsy off the margaritias we drank. How me and my best friend were the only ones who knew every Keri Hilson song besides "Turnin Me On" and how iritated we were with her Dime Diva pants and the fact she can't dance worth shit. How T-pain fucked up the mood my being his own one man band and how low budget his dancers and stage set up was, but how cool it was that he all he had to do is sing snippets of every song he was on to make a hot ass show. How sexy Travis from Gym Class Heroes is and how I know he was burnin up being dressed like he just came from New York in the winter time. How surprisingly short Lil Wayne is. How old Shannel [back up singer & she wrote prom queen] is in the face. How Kid Kids voice doesnt match his body at all. How young young money really is. How upset I was at how nervous Drizzy was on stage & how they flooded his voice with Bobby Valentino. How bomb it was that Wayne did all the hits even mixtape shit and old Wayne [The pockets hot the Pockets Hot Hot..insider]. And how everyone that was Black or Latino sat down when Prom Queen came on and every white person was super excited...hmmmmm. And how we were getting high off the contact of people smoking aorund. Was a bomb show plus we had bomb seats and bomb parking tooo.

Tenth) Im moving out of my apartment really soon [early June] and havent packed at all not even one thing...I got time right!?

With all that Im supposed to do or should have done or could have done. I can always say I get shit done. whether its late or not GOD make a way for me to get thing I need to do done. I may kick myself in the ass for taking forever to do it but I work it out and it gets done. Because Im such a procrastinator I live off of making multiple plans because I know it will take me 2 years to ever do Plan A on time. So with that being said hopefull I will get over being so lazy and do shit on fucking time!!