I really think Im cursed like noooo doubt! And I mean relationshiply [is that a word?] cursed!! It seems that everytime I get close to a guy someone close to him dies!!! Is it because of me, am I a grim reaper?? Do I kill people?? Recently I explored this and found out in my life time that I began fond, building relationships with six men all resulting in a death of a close family member or friend while they were talking to me. And more crazy is its been more recent within the last 2 years. What am I doing or is it that just what life is ppl die. Or am I just bad luck?? Hmm I wonder, but what makes me angry with this
situation is not only having to aide the young man in his recent time of mourning, it comes too soon in our relationship, like a serious thing happening so suddenly it slows down our process of connection. For one we are unable to take part in things like we used to or were going to because he has this big burden to deal with on his shoulders which then causes his desire to need space. Im definitely not the type to chase anyone so I give space but assure him I here for him. But when he returns its never the same. He no longer wants anything serious. Wat The Eff do I do now?? I then dont know if its my fault to blame. Should I have over rided his wishes of giving space and should have been there more, there so much I can really do. Everyone mourns differently so I don't want to step on toes and Im a direct person so I don't live for that reverse psychology/read between the lines bullshit...if you tell me somethin Im going to go off wat u tell me and what your actions say and if they agree so be it. But i digress. I don't know what is up with the death situation. It feels Ive experienced alot of death just because the people around me has. Are those really signs to tell me im not good for this person? Basically, wat im sayin is I don't understand why I can't fully experience a "normal" relationship. Something bizarre always happens too soon in the relationship, shit im not really wanting or ready to handle, death among other things is an example of just that. Beware to whoever is the next in my life, he better have no family or friends or we not gona make..j/k!!
situation is not only having to aide the young man in his recent time of mourning, it comes too soon in our relationship, like a serious thing happening so suddenly it slows down our process of connection. For one we are unable to take part in things like we used to or were going to because he has this big burden to deal with on his shoulders which then causes his desire to need space. Im definitely not the type to chase anyone so I give space but assure him I here for him. But when he returns its never the same. He no longer wants anything serious. Wat The Eff do I do now?? I then dont know if its my fault to blame. Should I have over rided his wishes of giving space and should have been there more, there so much I can really do. Everyone mourns differently so I don't want to step on toes and Im a direct person so I don't live for that reverse psychology/read between the lines bullshit...if you tell me somethin Im going to go off wat u tell me and what your actions say and if they agree so be it. But i digress. I don't know what is up with the death situation. It feels Ive experienced alot of death just because the people around me has. Are those really signs to tell me im not good for this person? Basically, wat im sayin is I don't understand why I can't fully experience a "normal" relationship. Something bizarre always happens too soon in the relationship, shit im not really wanting or ready to handle, death among other things is an example of just that. Beware to whoever is the next in my life, he better have no family or friends or we not gona make..j/k!!
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