I Hate This...

Damn feeling

"I watchin my phone waiting for it to ring...
Sittin on the couch wit the TV off...
all night all alone...
every night same ol' thing..."

"give me some excuse like you always do.."

I know that couple post ago I was talkin so great bout my Hunnie Bunnie but somethin happened && I saw sumthin I wish I didn't see! && now Im havin an Epiphany && Im upset && disappointed cuz my heart is sayin [effin] "I told you so" Ugh I hope Im over exagerattin & everything will come to pass cuz I want him in my life. I thought he was the answer to my prayers && that he was my break from heart ache now Im just super unsure! It wud be awesome if he cud atleast call my ass back so we can talk bout it. I mean voice convo && not wit thumbs! He usually blows my phone up with beautiful things & we talk early morning && before I go 2 sleep now4 the past two days he has been acting wierd mostly yesturday & 2day. He feels I dont trust him, i do but wat I saw makes me question things && I hate feelin like I have been played. This is fuckin wit me alot && I cant function right now! I don't even wana talk my friends cuz I don't want them 2 judge me && I dont feel like being chastized like a lil kid. [yea they think they are my parents] I jus need support. See, feelings like this is wat ive been talkin bout of why I [effin] cheat!! But he was the one I wanted to end that for! [Maybe it aint over... ima see] But the count down starts 2day, cuz im no longer gona take any of another mans shinanegans!



[b.t.w do u see my future hubby in the vid,I cudn't imagin ever leavin his ass, Chrissy you need to get on that boo! lolz]

Crack Is Wack!

More scarier than your Leatherface, Michael Myres or Jason put together!

SMH Momment: High & Holy Edition

I want to know why no one stopped him from singing

HORRORscope

OH EM GEEZ!! My horoscope for the past two days have been scarily true about my life right now!

Today

You are seeing more romance in your life, which is wonderful! But if you are single, you need to make sure you have a clear idea of what you want out of a new relationship. Otherwise, you could get swept up in the moment and do something that you might regret later on. So take stock of yourself. Analyze the unseen elements of your personality, the parts that you never show the world. Be totally honest with yourself and you'll be prepared when that cutie starts flirting.

Yesterday

If you feel like you're not being treated right in a relationship, give some serious thought to how you want to handle this situation before reading them the riot act. Consider the true value that this relationship has in your life -- is their behavior truly a deal breaker? Or should you just let it slide? Consider the dramas going on in their life -- they may need you to cut them some slack. 'Slack,' after all, is a unique gift that friends need to give to each other, sometimes.

Scared of Lonely!

I have to admit...Im absolutely petrified of being alone I have never been without a guy there has always been a guy in my life && usually more than one. Even when Im in a relationship there is usually someone lurking the background in case Mr. Right Now fucks up for at least emotional comfort if not sexual! && now im finding that its not even like that no more. Im finding myself giving myself to person && I get FUCKING SCARED! I get scared that if he leaves if ever hoping he doesn'tI wont have anyone to fall back on like I usually do. Its Crazy in its own right but thats my life. A so called player is wat Ive been called, but a LOVER is all I am. I have alot of love to give and I want to give it to one person, but I get scared of the reality of that happeing. I guess its because Im starting to believe the 'becareful wat you wish for' speech ive been told for years. Im falling for one person, and thats wat I want, but Im so used to having feelings of rmore than one person. I guess I want my cake with ice cream too, just so that I can feel fulfilled because watever one guy lacks the other can take up the slack. But, I don't wana be stuck in this mind frame forever. I understand I reap wat I sow and thats exactly how my relationship life has been. I want them to give me the world and if they don't I slightly roam away but stay in hopes of change and progression and when it happens its too late. Ive always been a fan of LOVE, Ive been in LOVE, but never experienced TRUE LOVE. Weird huh!? Meaning a Love that is patient and kind and full of COMMITMENT on BOTH ends. I never felt the guys I was with were fully with me so I could never be fully with them. I gave and gave all my heart could give until I was just like fuck it. One guy ruined it for the rest! One of the hardest things for me to do is let go of the past and just move on without bagagge from wat was or wat used to be. I may not stress the guy verbally about it but my actions hold true that Ive been hurt before and Im not going to let you hurt me before I hurt you! && most of them don't even know it. But I never had intentions of hurting anyone, I just was SCARED of being alone and getting played, but in all reality I guess I was playing myself. All I want now is a break, and it scares me to actually believe that Im receiving that KIt Kat bar as I speak! I think Ive met my match, but Im so used to disappointment that Im just waiting for Ashton to jump out and say you've been punked! Alot of things are leading me to believe he and I were no accident && hurting him is surely not an option, but Im scared of relapsing to my old habits. Ugh! Why cant I just let go and let someone love me because I know I deserve it! I guess ima just give it to God cuz he knows better than I do!

Look Alikes: Jim Jones & Fahim Edition

[Separated At Birth]

New Videos [part deux]

Dream-She Rocking That Shit [Remix]

Every Dream video is Effin the same!! Like hello can we get more than a Effin white background and bitches dancing!! Sheesh! But I do have to say Juelz Santana was looking mighty nice and very grown I should add, also it looks like he has been working out!


Dream ft. Mariah Carey- My Love

Ok RANDOM ass collabo! Plus was this video an attempt to make Mariah look more 'black' cuz she just came off as looking like a ghetto white girl or a blonde chicana or something. Sorry, I wasn't buying it! And how fake was the fight they had in the beginning! Dream has what I call the "Tweet Complex" [tw-eet co mp-Le-cKs:: R&B Singer Tweet never looks like the same person in any situation]&& It bothers me everytime I see him! I can't really grasp what he really looks like idk if he is cute or not to tell u the truth! So Im guessing Dream save us all the trouble and just keep your glasses on!

Se7en ft. Lil Kim- Girls

Now Ima be honest I feel I was tricked or bamboozled into watching this video because I thought Se7en meant 7even the one who produces for Ashanti and now Donnie Clang(womp on his ass) Furthermore, I press play and who is it but lil Bruce Lee! It caught my attention tho because I was not expecting this, plus I started to feel the song. My concern is for that poor child Lil' Kim tho idk what look she is going for, looks something like a Michael Jackson/Catwoman thing IDK!!

Kid Cudi-Superboo

Okay Soooo I Spy wit my Little Eye...A couple Asian girls, A couple Latin girls && ONE mixed black girl!!? I guess Mr. Mescudi has no love for the dark skin sistas huh! Well, hey I guess its his video his preference but we coulda had more chocolate in this video! If your gona show love for women show love for all shades of women! But i guess all women can't be his Super Boo! =/

Keri Hilson-Make Love

So thats its!! Wat the hell! Where is the rest of the video?? I guess it was good while it lasted tho! Plus, IDK if I like the thought of Kanye having sex with Keri Hilson or Anyone for that matter! He is sexy in his own kinda way but for this type of song I wana see some type of dude wit mad body who is gona strip down to almost nothin for this video, && I dont think Kanye wud do that like Homeboy u can't make love to Keri in that white tee!

LeToya Luckett- Not Anymore

Im feeling this song && the video is ehh! but she looks really pretty in it tho. && Im loving the feathered shoes.

Jazmine Sullivan- Dream Big && Lions, Tigers & Bears

She chose the greenscreen route I see & you can't go wrong with that right? Both these video are really cute && I love both songs! So Lions, Tigers & Bears isn't that new of a video but I had to post it cuz it was so creatively done and I love Jazmine Sullivan she is bomb.com/dope!

Summer Shoes!

[You have to smell this!!Its Fresh]

Summer is rolling around pretty soon && that means its time for my favorite season for fashion! Everyone knows that shoes are the one thing that can make or break an outfit, so here are some of my favorite shoe trends that will be inspiring my look for the next few months!

Felix Sandal by L.A.M.B

Timber Gladiator Sandal by Stuart Weitzman

Hudson Boot by Lauren Moffatt

Candela NYC Mia Bootie

Nike Tweed Blazers Mid Premium

Cut Out Wedges by Emilio Pucci

Black Multi Sequenced Pump by Emilio Pucci

Hunter Rain boots by Jimmy Choo

Pleated Leather Trainers by Balenciaga

Gladiator Cut Out Boots by Enigma

Snakeskin pumps by Miu Miu

Ayo!!.....SHUT THE FUCK UP!

OhKay So its aprroximately 7:54 am [sunny daygo time] && I have to say one of my biggest pet peeves that urk the shit outta me like none other is muthafuckas talking hella loud in quiet places i.e. the San Diego State library! Like W to the T the F are you doing!! Like this is a place of study and quietness and ppl just feel its the main place to have conversation, eat and drink, type super hard on their lap tops, muthafuckas vacuming and cleaning shit[ etc. etc.] hella fucking loud! Like go home for that shit! One of the main things I find when Im in the library, like right now, like it never fails is a person speaking in another LANGUAGE super loud on their cell phones or in groups. Like first, I understand you are speaking in another language and you know I don't know what the hell your talking about, however, would you be talking that hella loud in english? No, you wouldn't or would you wit you rude ass!! Ive heard thousands of crazy long, extensive conversations from around the globe damn near and I would have to say the most unpleasant accents come from the Middle East&&Asia && Germany! Now, I have nothing against anyone who speaks another language or from another countryI actually think its cool to be diverse, but not in my damn library! I come hear because I cant study at home because things such as TV, food, phones, beds [and as u can see blogger] distract me from progress! I dont need crazy loud ppl added to the mix!. People please bare with me on this one, I just needed to vent a lil' && now its really gotten on my nerves! Please don't mind me!

Desperate CollegeWife!!

So yea, for many of you that don't know Im a student in collegio [SDSU woot woot! =) ] && Im also a lil sorta kinda in a way wifed up to my Hunnie Bunnie! He is so awesome because he puts alot of time and effort into me and seems really serious about being with me for the long term, however, he is in Lost AnHELLes and im stuck in Sandy Yago all alone and I misses him mucho! Long distance relationships are crazy tough and Ive done it before but it didn't work out cuz he cheated so i cheated [womp womp!] Well, Im not trying to do that now of course, but Im getting crazy tempted not cuz he is a bad guy just cuz im lonely. Even though I talk to him every day its not the same as seeing his wonderful face and touching his sexy body and kissing his soft lips and getin it crackin all day [whew!!] I have needs and they need to be fulfilled pronto! The problem is I wont be able to see my Hunnie till the end of March!! && Then I really won't be able to see him till I graduate and move back home to LA in May [WAT THE EFF!] I guess I can hold out, but its crazy when ex-boos are all in my face like never before! Plus, my mind is wondering thinking of those that could have been that were here before! I don't know if Im 100% ready to be with him cuz my attention span is trying to keep my eyes on the main show, but at the same time wants to surf the channels. But he is sooo good to me I know your wondering why would you even be with him if you're unsure? Well its because I think I found someone special and don't wana lose it, plus outta everyone he stepped up for me the most. The one thing that is questioning me in my heart is someone Ive met and now Im wondering wat about me and him cuz he is a great guy as well! Shit this is harder than I thought! After being hurt so many times before, Ive been flooded with too many good guys right now and its getting difficult to choose. Before it used to be so easy dropping the losers and sending them on their way, but what do you do when your stuck in a situation where your in your favorite shoe store and you can only pick one pair!! Nevertheless, being faithful & true is something I would like to try with him or anyone for that matter, not like Ive never been faithful before but I feel even the thought of fucking wit someone else is wrong! He is surely worth it!....but so is he,& him.... Ugh pray for me!