Merry New Year!!

Me on New Years Eve!

I feel ashamed because Im not in the blogging spirit I dont come to yall as frequently as I should smh... Shit sorry!! My Bad!!  First let me say HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope yall had a blessed holiday season and u got everything u wanted and if u didnt better luck this year... hopefully. 2010 was a rough year for me I had alot of highs and lows and this time I have wishful thinking for the new year.

1. Get a better job: I love my job right now its fun I work with kids never a dull moment because they are so hilarious and they keep me on my toes,, but I never envisioned myself working with children I want to find a better paying job with more hours than what Im doing right now I have fulltime pay with part time hours,, something aint right. lol

2. Lose Weight: Yes I know thats what everyone wants and I feel there is nothing wrong with having this as an option. A lot goes on in a year and sometimes you get off track in your diet,, I'm definitely one of those people I need to reevaluate some things and crack down on my body and get it right by my birthday (Sept. 12th) because Im going on a cruise to 5 different islands and I wanna wear a really cute bathing suite and feel good while I prance around on the beach like Beyonce in the "Broken Hearted Girl" video. Wish me luck with that!

3. Get a man: Im over being single yes Ive reached my breaking point!! I'm alone as alone can get. I have no boo what so ever!! I'm tired of this. Recently I saw my first love int he most awkward time. I was looking cute but I was with another guy who happened to be related to him *yup you read right* I have written about me getting over my first love but I haven't really and seeing him brought back so many memories and I craved them. Did I mention he looked good,, and I mean reallllllly good. He is doing better for himself now and I'm a lil bitter because I was with him at one of his lowest moments now he is all super fly and isn't single I feel some type of way... I digress... but I want someone of my own I think its time.

4. Find my niche in life: Its about time I really step my game up. Ive been out of school for over a year now and Im not doing what I want to do. Yes we are in a recession but I still am unsure of what my career is supposed to be and what I'm supposed to be doing and that is bothering me. I need to be proud of where I'm trying to go and where Im at and I don't feel wither right now.

5. Get new Friends: Soooo I realized I don't really have a best friend anymore. I have close friends but I don't trust nobody anymore. People are mickey and I learned a lot about friendship in 2010 more than any year of my life. Crazy enough I always had a feeling about certain people but they have been showing their ass lately and I realized I need to be more selfish. I care waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy tooo much about people and what people think and it has gotten me in trouble emotionally. this year I want to just focus on me and get a stronger "Fuck you and what your going through" gene inside of me.

6. Travel: I need to go to more places than Vegas 10 times out the damn year. Im always in Vegas. (Well I didn't go for New Years and I regret that,, but I was too broke because of all the other times I went in the year). I want to go to Mardi Gras, Miami, Atlanta etc. all the popping places FuntimesUSA has to offer me. I'm really excited for this cruise. I don't care if I go in major debt I'm going on this cruise,, it leaves outta Miami so that's one city down.

Where The HELL is Kam??

Hey loves!!! Ive been M.I.A and I truly apologize. Ive been going through so much lately that I'm finally stable, well kind of. lol. Also, I've been gone because of laziness and not really knowing how to word some of the things Ive been wanting to post to you guys. Ive been reading a lot of your blogs but haven't been contributing to my own. I used to love to post and loved when you all would comment. I need to get back in the spirit. Hope everyone is well,, I hope I still have at least one reader left :^/ I guess we will see... in the meantime check out my new tattoo...

peace.love.happiness

Happy New Age Day!!

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

Yes It's my birthday my loves and I am now 23 years beautiful and I'm so blessed to be reaching another year. Since my 22md birthday so many changes have occured within my life,, so many things I learned about friendships and the `real world` and most importantly myself. I am growing into a beautiful woman who is not perfect and can accept my flaws in only trying to perfect them the best I can. I am learning from my mistakes and moving forward. One thing I have learned that I am proud of myself is my faith level,, my  faith haven't been this strong in all of my life for some reason I have learned to start putting the past in the past and accepting the things I can't change. Im learning to trust God's plan even when I have no understanding of it. There are current challenges that I am facing and its been very hard to work through them or to understand them,, but I am trying my hardest to decipher the lesson and continue on in my life. I am also learning to accept myself and to get gain further love for me and to remove the insecurities I am struggling with.I have so much to do with my life and I am excited for my purpose to reveal itself and for me to savor in all its rewards.

My Blog Brand New!!

I updated my blog as you can see and Im really excited about it. It looks so much better to me more sleek i guess. I'm still trying to fix it up but I had to change it. Major shout out  to Elle at edk.dolce [http://edkdolce.blogspot.com/] she hooked up my banner for me and I thank her so much for volunteering her services. Isn't it cute?? Of course it is,, it has me on it!! 

P.S. I'm going to be blogging more soon once I get my mind into writing again I have learned so much this past summer,, as I wrote in my last blog,, it seems every summer I go through a life changing moment.  

Love you guys,, keep reading!!

Life Is A Happy Game??

Hello all!! Sorry I haven't been blogging as much as I would to so much has been going on in my life. I feel so overwhelmed and somewhat defeated. Have you ever had some many changes in your life that you just couldn't keep up with it?? Or life seems to be going fine until a travesty of an event happens. Every year I have a super life changing event happen to me and I'm getting real tired of this. Some years I have two or even three,, but majority of the time I experience at least one. I just want to live and be happy,, I'm getting real tired of learning life lessons the hard way even when I'm not trying to.

I desperately need a break a vacation of sorts. I want to get away from all of my past and my current situation. I understand life is full of tests and trials but what scares me is already knowing all that i been through and realizing that at 22,, this is only the beginning. I have so much more lessons to learn and harsh experiences to go through I don't know how long I'm going to last mentally before breaking down. 

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger,, this is true and I know that through all of my crazy experiences I have learned from them and they made me a stronger,, wiser person but they also have left impressionable scars on my soul. I get constant flashbacks of these experiences and even though I have to move on from them,, they still make me feel horrible I had to go through that just to learn from it. I'm definitely the person that you say don't touch that its hot and eventually I touch it anyway just to see or sometimes I'm the person who knows its hot and stay away from it for majority of the time,, but while I'm trying to avoid it so diligently,, I manage to trip and fall or someone pushes me on it and get burned anyway. My life in my eyes can be a constant train wreck its never smooth sailing and I'm struggling so hard to not slip into depression. 

My biggest struggle right now is getting over the experiences and moving on. i have been feeling really down on myself lately saying all the shoulda, coulda,woulda's, that I'm losing my mind. Can some of you tell me how do you guys get over things that have happened to you in your life that pushed you to the limit? How do you all just say "Fuck it" to things that make life unbearable at times? I need your advice and prayers,, because like many,, I'm going through it and I'm feeling miserable. Share some of your pick me ups that help you get over and get by.

SMH Moment: Big Booty "Model" Edition

This is clearly an episode of "When Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong!!" Is it that much pressure to be a thick big booty vixen these days where you turn your ass into a giant beehive attack?? I'm sorry but this isn't even a touch of attractive,, if I was a man this infected looking ass wouldn't get my dick close to hard. What is even more sadder about this is that there are men that are like damn "she bad as fuck,, my dick might break inside of all that but I would still fuck." This ass looks like if you slap it too hard it would fall off. The poor chile can't even walk correctly. With those non thick thighs,, You can tell she was a skinny minnie who thought Dr.90210 could help her look like a Barbie but instead made her look like a science experiment. PSA Ladies: Please love your bodies, don't let the pressure of society have u looking crazy just for the attention and affection of some man. If you do choose to get plastic surgery its your body do you,, but please make it look like you were born with the body part,, say it with me... corrective surgery!! Don't go overboard on the the shit to where you look like two umpa lumpas made a slip in slide down your back and got caught in your anus!! Not a good look!! Fathers hug your daughters!!

Falcon Lounge || Hollywood

Me & the best friend at The Falcon Lounge in Hollywood to celebrate on e of my closest friends graduation from my Alma Marta SDSU. It was my first time there and I like it really laid back and sexy nice place to chill or go on the weekends to party, plus it was some cuties up in there that looked like they had real jobs!! Heyyyy now!! These were taken a while ago forgot to post them but don't we look too hott to trot?? Yes? Oh Why Thank you thank you thank you, your far too kind!!

We Gettin Money Over Here!!

Guess what ya'll,, I got a jizob a jizob a jizob a jizob!! Yessssssssssssssss bitches!! I'm gettin young money over here lmao I'm sooo happy and grateful and excited all in one you have no clue how much broke I was. And the coolest thing about it,, it is resume worthy a for its my first media job since I graduated last year, since then I just been interning. But thank God that my interning paved the way for me to get this job I have now because I was actually referred for this position and my boss is the someone who actually requested me to work for her because of the wonderful work ethic I showed at my internship. For legal purposes I'm not going to say the company,, just incase they want to Google me lolz,,  but just know that I work in the Marketing and Media department as a Media Marking Associate!! So,, in relation to having a job I will prolly be slacking on blogging again but I'm going to try not to. I have some more bloggin ideas on topics I would like to give my 50 cent to. Hope all is well with you guys!!!

Changes To Come

My blog definitely needs a makeover,, Im tired of looking at it like this I want to polish it up a lil. I have been wanting to do this for a while but I have been too lazy. It takes a lot of patience to do this taking the template I have right now was all made from scratch. I want it to be revamped and more modern. If anyone would like to make me a cute banner leave a comment or email me at qu33nkam@gmail.com. Oh and  I was thinking of changing my domain name, I don't want a blogspot anymore,, however Im unsure if I do that will you all still be able to find me easily?? Give me info on that. If you guys have some sugggestions of topics of anything you would like me to speak on let me know as well or if you have or want advice from me. Greatly appreciate you all for reading and the readers i have had from day one who still read and comment I heart you more than you know. Also, I will do my best to reach out to all of you and if you would like me to check out your blog let me know and if you are new to this blog please follow and comment.Thanks. Tootles

What is Slim Thug Talking About??

So I waited a few days to really make sure I could give a non-bias or should I say a non-black bitch comment about his proclaimed judgment on the black woman and why we are all doomed to hell. He might as well should have said we were Satan's children and we need to be redeemed and forgiven by Jesus. Sheesh!! Is that really how black men feel about us? When did black women not become shit?? One thing I don't like is people that make ridiculous judgments and interpretations of what a whole race is based on a few people. Isn't that called being prejudice?? Do I have to call Slim Thugga a racist lol? His comment if you didn't get to read it, put down not only black women but white women. For him to say Black women need to lower our standards because successful Black men don't exist shows more about black men than black women any day. Why are successful black men going extinct and why is that okay? I think the better implication is that they are the ones that need to get it together. I feel that the definition of success is very blurred in the black community anyway. For Slim Thug to think he is successful by being a dope boy is just pathetic, cuz he damn sure not making money as a rapper. We need to stop thinking that getting money is the only ounce of success and independence, being successful comes from the way you spend that money and how you get it and its not only a lifestyle but a state of mind. Just because someone isn't able to buy out the bar doesn't mean they aren't successful,, y'all need to stop letting entertainment equal y'all success and go get an education and get a more realistic career,,and stop giving excuses to why you can't do shit else, but rap,, sell drugs,, and play sports. Success comes with ambition and working hard in a positive way and if we do not have enough black men in our community that has that then they are the ones that need to pull it together.Instead of black women lowering our standards maybe y'all need to raise yours. The fact that there are more black women in college than black men shows that,, the fact that they populate the majority of the jail systems shows that. I'm not going to go too deep into this situation because I can go on and on,, but I will say that I do not believe all black men believe in what Slim Thug is saying and if y'all do that's just fucking sad and you have no respect for women in general. Black women do hold y'all down for the fact that we still all fuck with y'all like that. I'm proud to say that there is no other race of woman that has held the black man down stronger than the black woman; we are there for y'all through thick thin and all that,, we have helped y'all become the men you are today.  Any real woman of any race demands success and the ability to provide for the family and be a protector from any man she seeks to be with,, if women have to search miles high and low to find a black man that equals that is not a great representation of the black man at all. Also, any white woman or woman other than black that allows a man to refer to them the way Slim Thug does is pathetic as well. Remember these perfect 'submissive' women were once the same women y'all got lynched for even looking at or the first women today to go running saying she was raped. I do think there are some rotten apples that spoils it for the rest,, but those are personal problems to why your woman won't do for you or is irresponsible,, that is not a racial problem. If yall go around flossing shit and showing your worth is only made by what you have.. all you will attract is that gold diggin' girl than trust me that's what you deserve to have. I really don't like when people date for superficial reasons,, it says a lot about you more than the race your putting down or the race you are promoting; if you meet someone and date them it should be because they compliment you in the most positive ways not because of a damn stereotype.